34 Weeks into my Pregnancy

The Lord is so good! We have found our very own “house” to move into and there we got discount as well! From R2800 to R2600, God is awesome and I believe He’ll give us gigs for the sound hire and photography when I’m on maternity leave, to try and make up for the loss of income.

I’m almost at my very last and thankfully I have not been woken by baby moving nor have I received any kicks in the ribs – which I hear hurts so much. It just sometimes feels like she wants to climb out, by the way she’s punching. The Braxton Hick’s contractions are getting much stronger now, sometimes it leaves me gobsmacked and I don’t know how to move or stand. It can be quite uncomfortable. I doubt that I’m going to be as lucky as mum not to have labour pains.

Though I’m not scared at all about giving birth, the only thing thus far that has scared me was the thought of being on my own – without William by my side. For some silly reason he has gone from being eager to cut the umbilical cord to rather wanting to stay outside the ward for the fright of seeing me in pain and not being able to do anything about it. It really freaked me out when he said that, I mean – what has kept me calm all this time was that I knew he wanted to be right there and be as much part of the labour as he could and being there to support me. And from going from having that assurance to nothing is quite scary, it’s almost like being abandoned.

I told him that I don’t care I want him there with me, so he agreed to be there. I don’t know if he wants to cut the cord anymore though.

I’d say my mood swings are really starting to kick in this week, more than any other. My moods change quicker than the direction of the wind in PE from being happy and content to wanting to rip someone apart for making what seemed to me a stupid suggestion. From being angry about something to crying because my feelings got hurt in the way I was spoken to. It’s like a rollercoaster of emotions and William has partially joined in – lately he’s gotten very soft and my harsh moods are affecting him more than what it would have before. It makes me feel bad though, because he used to be able to take my moods with a pinch of salt and now he almost drowns in them.