22 Weeks into my pregnancy

William must’ve hurt his back last week Friday when he picked up a heavy pedestal, he’s been in terrible pain ever since. A woman at his work reckons he’s getting my back pain, I’m not even that far or big yet, some people really takes this too far! I mean; “Honestly!”

Work started for me this week and it has been great, though I think I might be working faster than what they anticipated. It is quite a relaxed atmosphere; it’s not corporate at all, which is great for my lack of maternity corporate wear! I could not have asked for a better job, than that what our Father in Heaven provided!

I’m getting more and more dizzy spells, but the problem lies in when they come along… I’ll be sitting dead still, and mostly it occurs after having eaten something. I’m just thankful that it hasn’t happened whilst driving or walking, I’ve mentioned this to the sister at the Clinic, but she reckoned that’s why I need to up my pherouse sulphate; I’ve been taking my supplements for over two weeks now and I’m simply getting more strange symptoms. Looks like all weird things are going to happen to me in this pregnancy!

I started getting terrible hay fever this week and even ended up with a silly cold again, it was so bad Monday night I could barely sleep as the phlegm was suffocating me every hour or so. By God’s grace did I make it through the next day, only to go sleep at midnight which in turn did the “real” damage. I’ve been going through this week, feeling like a zombie, thank goodness it’s almost over and I’m almost better!

Baby’s movements are so cute, at mid morning it feels like he’s playing drums or doing some rapid tapping movements, and then at late afternoon the stretches start. Today it actually felt like someone running their finger firmly over my tummy – but on the inside…  It’s so amazing! Sometimes still, I can’t believe or I even forget that I’m pregnant but then I’m quickly reminded about it by baby’s movements. My tummy still doesn’t seem “pregnant” round to me and sometimes I just feel fat and wonder if others can see I’m pregnant or if they also simply think I’m fat. I try and keep any negative thoughts at bay as I don’t want any feelings of despondency or rejection to convey to baby, my baby must know that he/she is wanted and just because I’m the most out of shape now and might sometimes feel dejected by it, doesn’t ever for one second mean that I regret having him/her - it is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me! I’ll have all the time anyway after baby’s birth to get back to what I think I should be.

Porridge brain has officially set in and oh, how it drives me insane! Sunday, was a real Blue one for me – as I had all these things I wanted to do since there would not have been time for it during the day in the week since I’m starting working – almost everything that could; did go haywire, from remembering in the middle of a ‘House’ episode after 6pm that my washing is still outside, to the line actually breaking as I take stuff off. To just me forgetting things after 3 seconds of just reminding myself not to forget. It’s gotten a bit better during the week, as I end up reminding myself so much about things that I basically have dreams about what I shouldn’t forget (not really) but it helps to let other people know what you need to be reminded off, so if they forget – you get to be mad at someone other than yourself for a change (^^,)

21 Weeks into my pregnancy

According to the baby development chart, baby is developing eyebrows, eyelashes and head hair this week. I get heartburn quite bad after eating every now and then, I suppose it’s because my stomach is all crammed into a little space. A friend of mine said there’s an old wives tale that claims if you suffer from heartburn, your child will have thick hair. I think it’d be strange if our child doesn’t have thick hair, both me and Will has thick hair. I wonder what our baby will look like; it’s funny; how we have the same idea of what we want our children to look like. We both want them to have my dark hair and his blue eyes, whether boy or girl.

So I went for the interview on Tuesday and it really seemed to go off well. She said she’ll phone me Wednesday to discuss things with me. I never got a call from her, and even though I’ve had faith thus far I couldn’t help but to look at it from a human’s perspective and I started doubting that there was even a possibility of me getting the job. I refused to believe that this was the way it was going to be, I pleaded with God to forgive my disbelief and that I don’t want the enemy to win because of it. After my crying and praying, I sent an e-mail requesting the outcome of the interview. I thought; perhaps they’ve just had another tough day with their 4week old colicky baby and she perhaps forgot to phone.

It turned out that I did in fact get the job and am starting work on Monday the 15^th, though it’s only a one month contract for now – I’m sure they’ll sign me another contract in the New Year. I believe that greater things are yet to come, for I am carrying a blessing from the most High God within me!

My waist has expanded exponentially this week and I’m afraid that I’m gaining more weight than I should, but as long as both me and baby are healthy, I’m happy. The only problem is, finding something to wear, so I have to take it upon myself to make myself clothes to fit my new physique, don’t want to stretch my entire wardrobe out and then end up being depressed after the birth.

My new employers are very considerate to my situation, I mean – I’m getting a job and I can still go to Gauteng to visit my family a week for Christmas. How many people do you think would do that, they are practically arranging working conditions to suit my needs, now if that isn’t the hand of God working; then I don’t know!

Sunday evening it felt like baby was doing yoga, it was quite amazing! William was particularly surprised with the feeling of baby’s foot pressing so hard against my abdomen, it’s quite something else if you’ve only felt little kicks (^^,). It’s only a matter of time before baby’s going to wake us at night with its movements – I’m hoping that we’ll be able to go see next week whether we’re expecting a boy or girl.

20 Weeks into my pregnancy

At the age of 9 I broke my coccyx for the first time. "Yes, there was a second-" I was climbing a tree in my Aunt's garden when my foot slipped and I fell to the branch below from where I was, luckily I didn't fall to the ground as I can think of more than just my neck that would've been broken - "mum's heart". Then about a year later I got this purple and yellow basketball I'd been nagging my mum for - been having lots of fun with it at school, except for the part where I was balancing myself on it; some girl in class thought it'd be funny to see me flat on my ass after she kicked from under me...

13 Years later...it's not so funny anymore. The first fracture to my coccyx was not as severe, I think I would've gone up until now without knowing it was ever fractured; but the second fracture put the cherry on top. My Dr. thén, told us that the fracture would most likely not heal and if it gives any problems they'd have to remove it. He also mentioned that it might pose a problem whilst giving birth; though I was only 10 at the time, I suppose he had to cover all basis.

For the past three or so months I've had severe discomfort in that area, of the coccyx. I have come to think that perhaps it never healed properly and now with me being pregnant it just flared it up again.

I think I might be getting over this "test" we're dealing with. Whereas others in the same situation would be bickering and clawing at each other's hair about their financial strain, I simply feel an overpowering calmness in my soul. i just know that we are going to come out stronger in the end!

I started my exercise programme again on monday. But I'm taking it slow, though it feels pointless at this rate! After all - it's said to have it's advantages for both baby and mum; should help me get back into my pre-pregnancy shape and baby should turn out "fit" and would stand a lower risk of weight problems and obesity later in life.

Monday, well it was a real Monday! We got "wonderfull" news - we got two months notice to move out of the house we are sharing with the in-laws. As if having financial strain wasn't bad enough, now this. "Oh, life's a breeze!" (^^,)  Why am I smiling? ... Because this, all this is simply a test of faith and I know my God won't bring us to a situation if He's not going to help us through it! It's all about Faith and putting your full trust in The Almighty!

I experienced some cramping in my abdomen - on the right just under my rib cage and down lower on the left. I got these sever Monday evening and mildly on Tuesday and Wednesday. I was really worried that baby would be fine, but he seemed untouched; as he was moving like always still. The Sisters at the clinic told me not to worry as it is the muscles stretching out, due to the growing uterus and baby. Which is usually the case with first time pregnancies.

Wednesday morning I woke up with a strange pulsing just under my bust, at first I thought it was the baby but then I realised it must've been a twitching nerve since the uterus isn't even that big yet. William laid his head on my stomach to listen to the baby move inside - and he said he could swear he heard the baby's heart beat.  I can't help but wonder, if my time isn't maybe out... I mean how was it possible for me to have felt baby move from so early on and they are only going to see if they can pick up the baby's heart rate with my next visit to the clinic, which will be at (26 weeks), I mean William felt the baby move last week, at 19 weeks - whereas most dad's only get to feel their baby's movements from 23 weeks, or maybe we really just have a very strong and special baby!

I've been assured that it's safe for me to continue exercising - which makes me so glad! As I'm gaining more weight than I'd like - but most of it in the right places. I'm just glad that I don't have to take care as though I'm a porcelain doll - Praise be to God for good health and a healthy baby. I can't wait to see if we're having a boy or girl (^^,)

Thursday I got a response on an advertisement I placed, looking for a part-time job. I'm sure it's God sent, I'm going for an interview this Tuesday. They know that I'm pregnant and the lady wanting to hire me has a 4-week old baby, so I think she knows how tough it is. I just thank God for this, already. I have faith that the interview on Tuesday is going to be a confirmation interview because she's already speaking like I've got the position - I can't wait to start!

We went to the Warriors vs. Knights Cricket game Friday evening with tickets William won through Kingfisher FM. It was great fun, even baby enjoyed it "kicked quite a bit" though the team we were rooting for lost, we didn't stay until the end, for William was disappointed and knew what the outcome would be and I was getting uncomfortable in those stadium chairs - but I must say, I had a good time!

19 Weeks into my pregnancy

This week was so boring I thought I could die. At least baby kept me company with his kicks and punches.

My two cats seem to want to be all over me whenever they get the chance, I truly hope that jealousy won’t kick in once baby arrives; coz they have been our babies thus far, Mischiff (female) for 3years and Tigger (Mischiff’s son) for 2years. I’m scared that Mischiff might smother our baby, for she loves lying on top of a person and she might just try that with baby, and Tigger gets nervous around other animals and small children, so I’m not quite sure what to expect from him. To prevent Mischiff’s smothering, I’ve decided to make a net cover for the cot and to always be alert with the pets around baby and I’ll just pray that Tigger doesn’t get aggressive or runs away for either actions would break my heart.

The strength of baby’s movements is really astounding! By simply placing my hand over my abdomen “no more pressing down” I can feel his kicks! I had William feel, but once again baby didn’t want to move with daddy’s hand there!

Baby was even “dancing” to the classical music I played earlier this week, he was moving so much whilst the music was playing that I actually thought that he was dancing – I can’t help but to be a bit concerned though, is it possible for a baby’s ears to hurt when playing high pitched music in utero... I’d have to look that up!

William finally felt baby move! 30 Oct. 10, I don’t know what he expected but like it usually is, the kick was soft to the touch – but strong inside. He seemed happy, yet disappointed; did he then expect to feel a black belt karate chop? Or a footballer’s kick ... the baby’s roughly 15cm long ... how hard do you expect such a small person to kick! Hee-hee!

We’re having a banquet at church Saturday evening and I’m wondering if they’ll contact me for help with the decorations, I volunteered for it the week before the threatened miscarriage, agh, who knows maybe they won’t. We’ll just have to see – I’d hate to just show up and enjoy the feast ... we’re new to the church in any event but I’d love to help wherever I can, I don’t just want to be an onlooker from a shelf!

The evening at the church banquet was surprisingly enjoyable, they ended up never contacting me earlier for help, but it seems as though they came right without me. We each got a mask and at the end of the dinner, which was a three course meal; those who felt in them to lay down the mask as a symbol of laying down troubles and difficulties in their lives would do so. I laid down my mask representing financial struggles and failures in life! We had an awesome testimony as well, this one young woman had been sitting at home for months without a job; she decided to ask God for an opportunity to succeed. In the week that followed she was screened for a high ranking position as a “Fashion Guru” for Urban wear etc. From having nothing and perhaps no hope; God has lifted her up and placed her high in this industry. Our God is so amazing, and that just got me all exited again. I mean if God could do that for her, who only has her own cares to worry about, how much more will He provide for me who is now carrying a special gift from Him within me!

“I’m waiting on You Lord, to give me a breakthrough High above my expectations!” – Amen

I don’t care what other’s might do or say, yes; I don’t have a high class fancy life with lots of money and earthly possessions, but my God has a plan greater than this for me and I know it. For if we walk by Faith and not by Sight; that is when the true blessings of God flows down upon us!

18 Weeks into my pregnancy

Me at 12 weeks of Pregnancy

Baby’s movements are definitely getting stronger each day, I can actually feel the movements if I press down on my lower abdomen. I can’t wait for William to feel it; maybe he’ll feel it this week.

He’s been calling home more this week, just to see if I am doing okay and that I’m not doing anything that would endanger baby. I got scolded when he got home because I moved things around in my kitchen; the table and the tumble drier, he was furious – but I understand. He doesn’t want us to lose this baby!

I made fudge on Tuesday, 19 Oct, which I’m going to sell. I burnt my upper lift when I got a dollop on a teaspoon to taste – it hurt quite a bit – but I’m still here! Saturday morning when I woke-up I caught the fright of my life when I looked in the mirror! My lip was deformed; I had a lip like the back of Kwazimodo (The hunchback of Notre-Damme) the burnt wound turned into what seemed to be a fever blister, oh wow! Exactly what I needed to complete all the strange things happening during pregnancy!

I had William press down on my abdomen trying to feel the baby move, but as soon as he would place his hand there the baby would stop moving! I tried all sorts of things; from drinking ice-cold juice to playing music to the baby! Baby just flat out refuses to kick for daddy; William’s a bit down because of that – I hope he doesn’t think the baby’s rejecting him! I keep assuring him that he’ll feel the baby’s movements soon enough, I truly hope he does – but he will eventually!

He has commissioned me to play classical music to the baby every day. I don’t know if the kicks I get are him trying to get the music to stop or him enjoying the different sounds. Baby kicks when Tigger (Our male cat) lies over my stomach purring, perhaps it’s his way of trying to get the noise away – I wonder if it’s the same with the music...

I believe we are having a boy, for I’ve been having dreams about baby boys before I even knew I was pregnant; I even thought my friend were going to have a little boy as her baby didn’t want to show during the ultrasounds, but it turned out to be a little girl. So that brings me to the conclusion of us expecting a baby boy. For some reason, William thinks we are having a little girl – I truly don’t know why, so does his mother. But he’s starting to doubt it, I don’t know if it is because I’m so sure of it being a boy or what. But be it a boy or a girl, I’ll love our baby never the less! This baby is a special gift from God, and God knows what we need is more important than what we want.

I feel so guilty for we haven’t even bought anything for the baby as yet, except for the pram and car seat still in lay-buy. I’ve gotten stuff from my sister and my brother’s wife and my dad’s making a wooden cot for our baby, I just wish I could go out and get everything my heart desired for baby! But that might be a problem, as we might just run out of space – ha! So I suppose its fine.

I have been quite immobile this week as I’m following the Dr’s orders to sleep and eat, though I’m doing a bit more than that – I mean someone’s got to do the cleaning – luckily it’s minimal. I’m worried though, I’ve been more hungry this past week than before, and the fact that I quit my exercises coz of Dr’s orders I’m afraid I might gain ugly weight! I’ve already gained too much weight in my first three months and I fear that without exercise and my heightened hunger I’m going to become huge!

I weigh and measure myself at the start of each pregnancy week, which falls on a Sunday. I was expecting a minimum weight gain of 2kg this week, but to my surprise it was the same as last week – when I was active. Only 100g, weight gain this week, with all that eating? phew! What a relief, I just hope next week will be the same. I only have one more week of taking it easy to go, then I’ll be able to take up exercising again (^^,) 

17 Weeks into my pregnancy

We have been co-living with William’s mother and step-father for over a year now. For me to stay “sane” I suggested we stay in separate parts of the house as it is large enough to accommodate for both our “families’” privacy. I have mentioned this a few times before but for some reason it always ended in a negative debate.

We have finally come to a mutual understanding – and it is for the better – so we may all have our own privacy on both sides, though I think it’s especially vital for me & William as a young married couple about to have our first child.

The baby has started moving much more vigorously in the past three weeks. I started feeling the first “flutters” around 11weeks, “yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but I know my body and that’s what it was; my baby moving”. Our baby has since grown much stronger – I’m sure daddy will be able to feel baby move in a week or two (^^,).

Saturday, 16 October 2010.

We have moved all our belongings to our side of the house and I am so pleased to sit in my own lounge and for the first time make coffee in my own kitchen!

William had gone to band practice at 2pmand should be back at 4. I started arranging things in and around my “house” – I am so content in my own space! I started dinner when Will returned from band practice. I was barely done with the food when I discovered something shocking! I was bleeding, and had not noticed it all this time as I was so busy. But I haven’t had any pain...my heart froze! What’s happening is my baby okay – I didn’t really feel movement today! So I hurried to Will, who was relaxing in the lounge; all I said was: “You have to take me to the clinic – I’m bleeding”.

As we were driving, my heart sank right into my shoes – questions filled my mind... “Is my baby okay?”, “Are we going to lose this baby, but I thought it was special by the early movements I felt”, “What are we going to do if we lose our baby?”, “How will we cope?”, “Will we ever try again?”. By now I was sobbing my eyes out; I couldn’t bear the thought of losing this precious gift from God! So I started praying and pleading with God – just too please keep my baby safe.

We got to the clinic and there weren’t anything they could do, so the Sister referred us to Dora Ngenza Hospital.

“Oh my! I’ve heard so many stories – none of them good, if only we had medical aid! What if I have to be admitted, will I be taken care of and will my baby be okay?” thoughts ran through my mind, I even felt like telling William to rather leave it and go home. But instead, I kept quiet and prayed more within my heart, pleading with God for the safety of our baby!

We got to the hospital around 5pm and got lost a few times looking for the G.O.C. We had to open a new file for the hospital which William ran and did for me whilst my BP and pulse were checked in the waiting room.

A young handsome male Dr. came in, picked up my Maternity Case Record from the clinic and asked what was wrong. I thought to myself, I would simply die of embarrassment if this Guyni have to examine me, putting his hand in a place I’d much rather prefer any man stays away from; or get the beating of his life – unless of course it’s DH.

William finally appeared with my hospital file, after being “interrogated” on why he was opening a file for me. In the meantime the male Guyni had left to do his rounds in the maternity ward but would return once he’s done. A surge of relief came over me when a young female Dr. came in and took my file. I was relieved that I had gotten her instead as the examination was rather uncomfortable – need I say more.

It’s after 6pm and I haven’t stopped praying to God for our baby’s safety! To our relief the Guyni reported that the womb was still closed and that it must’ve been a threatened miscarriage though they still need to ensure the baby is healthy and they’ll do so with an ultrasound.

She guided us to a room where they would do the ultrasound in the hope of detecting baby’s heart beat. She left us in the room and soon returned with the Dr. who would be doing the ultrasound. A feeling so well known to pregnant woman around the world soon followed... Ice cold gel squirted onto my belly and the prodding of the ‘ultrasound stick’. The outline of a little person appeared on the screen, the last time we saw baby was at 5 weeks and he/she was just a little bean. They detected the heartbeat and with that my heart melted, a thousand silent cries rose from my heart to God for I knew baby was going to be just fine now. Standing at the base of the bed, William couldn’t see the heart beat so they turned down the lights and had him move closer. But just as he moved in to see the heartbeat, baby quickly moved out of sight! He finally got to see it though; even with baby trying it’s best to hide from daddy!

The Guyni told me to take it easy for the next two weeks and since I’m not working now that won’t be a problem. What a relief knowing that our baby is going to be fine – thanks to our Heavenly Father who hears all cries!

Even before we got married I just wanted to have my own special little person, I wanted to be a momma since I knew William was my soul mate!

FFW-6yrs later...

17 July 2010
I'm suspecting that I might be pregnant but I have done so many times before only to be disapointed by the arrival of Aunt Flow.
I had to buy tissue oil for a burn I got on my hand two days ago-so I used that as an excuse to go buy two pregnancy tests.

My breasts have been quite tender for a few days already and today Aunt Flow's late by two days-can it be? ...

I got home with the tests & tissue oil. I locked myself in the bathroom as I don't want any disturbance by our female cat,who always feels the need to open closed doors.
I followed the steps on the pack to the T-I didn't even have a chance to take a breath when two blue lines appeared on both tests-POSITIVE-I had to take a moment to collect myself. Closing my eyes & opening them again to see the four blue lines.
I was now shaking uncontrolibly from both excitement & fear; for I didn't know what William was going to say about this! Just the week before when I had asked him when we're gonna start trying for a baby,he told me clearly that we are not ready right now-maybe next year.
I had to tell him,but what do I say...but first I had to phone my mum&sister for I had promised them before that I'll let them know before anyone.
Mum was sleeping when I phoned,she must've worked night shift (nursing) and Diane didn't answer either one of her phones,coz they were in her car and they were at some party-is what she told me later on. I was quite disapointed-I wanted her more than anything to be excited and happy with me at that very moment.
I decided not to tell William,for I couldn't find the words-so I simply walked up to him and showed him the two positive tests.

He looked at me blankly,then the words dripped out: "What does that mean?" I simply said: "I'm pregnant!" and started sobbing. He held me in his arms and asked: "But I thought that was what you wanted..." still crying but laughing in between I replied: "But I don't know if it is what you want!". He held me closer and told me it was going to be ok and that it's fine,just then his mother walked past and me crying in William's arms caught her attention. He simply told her that we're expecting,she was DUMB STRUCK! I showed her the two tests and all she said was: "It could be wrong,you should take another in two weeks".

I was mad at her for this, she has always in the past made comments to William, like "If you have children now-I'll write you off" and now this!

I made an appointment with my Dr. for the next monday; another urine test in the surgery and a blood test confirmed that we are in fact expecting. There was no denying it now for mother-in-law,she should be happy that her first grandchild comes from us and not one of her other two unmarried children!

She finally came to the realisation that this is how it is going to be and there's no changing it! She finally also started sharing in the excitement of our little blessing on the way (^^,)